Don't Panic, This Is Just A Drill

I knew something was "amiss" when I saw the Kembara with the label Bomba Dan Penyelamat parked at the basement parking at 7.30 am.

"This must be related to the emergency drill exercise", I thought. The building management planned to do an earthquake evacuation exercise after the Padang Quake. I wish I could just sit and wait at one of the eateries downstairs when the alarm buzzed, but too bad, I have to chair a meeting that morning.

To my disgust, the 3 floor safety managers were all not available; one went for haj, one was on MC and one was undergoing training. I had to prepare myself to take over commandship for the floor since I have a full department to take care of in case of emergency. So I told my staff that if the drill really happens, I self appoint myself as the floor safety manager.

True enough at about 9.45 am, the alarm went off. I guess everyone had expected the "soalan bocor" to happen this week. It will not happen on a Friday because of the short time in the morning due to Friday prayers and that leaves just Wednesday and Thursday. As the announcement to evacuate the building was made with the intermittent siren wailing, everyone was calm and made their way to the nearest staircase. I swept the floor right away to see whether there was anyone left before I took the stairs, ushered one pregnant lady to the special lift and after seeing her safe, I quickly went down.

There I was having to walk from 55th floor to 42nd floor. It was quite orderly. When I went into the staircase, there were already many staff in the passage down and guess what? The occupants on 70th floor has already reached 55th floor. Oiii! Marathon turun tangga ke apa?



It was quite a smooth thing for me to go down to 42nd floor maybe because I was chatting away with a friend and treating it as exercise and fun. It was just like my morning jogging every weekend, sweat and sweat. Thank God I could take the lift down later. Some people had to walk 42 floors down because the lift lobby area was already packed and not to make the jam worse, they were forced to walk down another 42 floors!



As we reached ground zero, we made our way to the park. It was sunny and there we were, bersantai di tengah padang and di tengah panas. Not much hiccups. All was in order. My congrats to all people involved in the drill to make the exercise painless for us.



When all was over, on my way back to the office, sempat singgah minum teh tarik and makan nasi lemak. Obviously the carbo disappeared when descending the 13 flight of stairs and standing in the hot sun have been recovered.



So bila lagi the next drill cos I don't mind having the good company of the teh tarik and nasi lemak again.

A Contradiction

Betul kata orang. Seorang ibu boleh menjaga anak yang ramai, tetapi tak semestinya seorang anak boleh menjaga ibu seorang.

What I am going to pen has got nothing to do with mother's day or a tribute to my mother.



An observation : I find that some of us take our mother or by far and large our parents for granted, betul tak? I know some who tak ada duit pun minta pinjam from emak or abah. Want to buy a car, nak beli rumah, if the money is just not enough, who do we look for? .... Our parents. I put my hats off to the people who could stand on their own feet and never ever trouble their parents.

On this point, it takes me down to memory lane. I don't recall how uwan and atuk were earning their living. They have the kebun getah and the sawah padi, and I also remember there was mesin gelek getah, tong isi susu getah, mesin kisar padi and kepok.




They earned tirelessly and supported their children without a single qualm. Ada yang masuk university, pergi overseas and later become a Tan Sri or a Dato', but there are also those yang jadi cikgu or become cc (chief clerk). With the tulang empat kerat, their children were well fed. Tak kira lah makan ubi kayu or makan ikan sembilang.

On the same breath, as far as I could recall, tak de pun my emak or abah ever pernah minta duit from uwan and atuk. The most emak and abah could minta from them is to cook for them their favourite dish, otherwise rasanya pantang tok nenek meminta minta. It will be the end of the world to ever ask money from uwan and atuk.

The nostalgia which is glued to my memory resulted in me never thought of asking anything from my parents (well maybe one, just wondering why I didn't get the duit hantaran kahwin and later I realised it was for the expenses mak and abah spent on the khenduri kahwin. Guess itu pun tak cukup for them to cover all the belanja). Hence when aruah abah offered me to buy my very first car in cash, I was shocked. @#%^&$#!!/?? It was not only dapat terpijak but dapat rezeki harimau! Of course abah didn't give it free to me. He actually loaned the money to me and I had to pay him in monthly installments. According to him, it would save me from having to pay interest to the bank.

Sometime later when I bought my first house, it took a while for the loan to be processed and because of the kindness of my in-laws, they paid the 10 percent down payment. Obviously I paid them back immediately when the money was reimbursed and the money was subsequently loaned to another person who I reckon took about at least 8 years to pay them off!

To make things worse, I know someone who went through a difficult turbulence in his life due to his own fault and there it was the parents came to the rescue. Bila tak de kerja, the parents lah yang hantar beras, susu, milo, gula, sirap, Ribena etc etc kat rumah untuk the family. Duit, tak usah cakap lah. Pinjam and pinjam selalu from the parents. Bila bergaduh dengan wife and the marriage was on the rocks, parents dia lah yang penat buat ini and itu, cari bomoh, cari ustaz to buatkan macam macam. Just to ensure that the marriage or more the family remain intact.

When one is already working, aren't you supposed to take care of the parents? Halllooo... is it not redemption time? Let our parents age gracefully and avoid from them having to worry about the children yang dah besar besar (and menantu). We owe it to them. They raised us and takkan lah dah sampai til almost their end pun kita nak menyusahkah dia orang. Cukup cukup lah tu.

Meanwhile, I also think that the problem could be due to us too. We pamper our children and we allow ourselves to be taken for granted. Misalnya, I don't really drink Starbucks or Coffee Bean unless once in a while with friends. To actually spend RM15 to RM20 on coffee or hot choc may be unthinkable especially in this current economic scenario where kalau boleh every sen counts. Government servants pun dah tak dapat bonus. That's how bad it is now.




However, if we analyse things carefully, what if our children go to lepaks at places alike? And the Gen Y or the Starbuckers or the children of Google era, whatever you call them lah, can frequent Starbucks like how the Gen X or baby boomers go to kedai mamak. Who actually finance their spending? Siapa lagi kalau bukan kita!

To add futher to the analogy and this is about my recent acquisition of that apartment. Although it was for investment, I did tell beloved husband that budak budak ni besok kalau susah nak beli rumah bila dah kerja or kahwin, at least we have a house for them.....

Bingo! And I want them to be independent and don't take moms and pops for granted! What a contradiction?

Anyway, don't we all want the best for our children?

Hobin Jang Hobin

I don't know much about football except that it is a game where there are 11 people running after a ball for a good two halves, 45 minutes each. My memory of football goes as far as when beloved husband was courting me. We did go to Stadium Merdeka to watch football together. That was zaman semi-pro dulu. I recall the likes of Zainal Abidin Hassan and Dollah Salleh playing for Selangor then. I was a strong supporter of Negeri but Negeri was always losing. Although we probably have watched at least five matches live at the same Stadium, I still don't know who is the fullback and who is the striker. They are all the same to me.

My 3rd Ace, Ali plays football. On Saturdays when he has a football match with his friends, he surely would wake up very early and could become cranky if I don't wake him up. Football can make Ali go gaga. Just like my brother Tauffik last time when he was small. Playing football also can swayed him into forgetting that there are other obligations which he has to fulfill like studying. Arwah Abah even once threatened him that he would one day boil Apit's boots and the ball and let him drink them, if Apit did not get good grades.

I haven't followed the evolution of football ever since they make the semi-pro league disappear from the Malaysian football history. In fact as I write and with the big bruhaha about the Piala Malaysia which finals is tomorrow, I still know little of football. Oh, but I do know about Rita Rudaini who married one of the NS players, the 23 years old Aidil Zafuan who has a twin brother Zaquan Adha playing in the same team.

The thing which has made me proud sejak dua tiga hari ni... is that NS is in the final going against Kelantan. When a friend of mine asked me which team I would be supporting, I thought it was a big joke. Later it dawns on me that wah, team kampung aku masuk final! NS is considered underdog and Kelantan is the favourite. According to the prediction, Kelantan garnered 55% votes that they will clinch the Piala.

I intended to go to Stadium Nasional to support the N9team. On hindsight, I would obviously be crazy to join the rowdiness. Especially thinking that this is not against Perak or Selangor, but Kelantan. Mahu ada awek kena balik botol nanti!

Hence, I will have to settle watching the Jang team playing against the Kijang team on TV tomorrow night and at the same time singing the Hobin Jang Hobin song. Good luck to all the Jangs. Make sure kasi dio melopong especially bila dah 61 tahun kemarau ye! To the fans, particularly the likes of Induk, Ambong, Wan Iler, Mak Darek, Mak Baroh, Pak Itam, Pak Tuo, Pak Udo, whoever you are and wherever you are, it is just a game so behave yourself.

Enjoys... this is one of the most exotic nogori song which had been created after Poie Pokan.




Update as at 11.30 pm 7th Nov

NS won 3-1 to Kelantan. It is such a sweet affair. Congrats Jang. Buek laie tahun dopan. Pueh hati den post kan support awal awal kek blog den nia!

First Firefly Experience; Mak Lang Associated With It

As I stepped down the Firefly, the exhaustion was undescribable. It was a long haul of travel. I was in Muar yesterday to visit Aliah, and on the same night I took the flight to Kuantan, spent the nite at Hyatt and this morning was already at the office in Kertih the soonest I could get.

The notimeoff mode has kicked off again. The days have been busy ever since the raya ended and this would continue, the endless workload until March next year. I will be lucky if I can still go for my year end hoiliday.

The wait for the luggage was non existent because there was no wait at all. The Firefly crew were fast in everything. I noticed that the plane was taxi-ing very fast on the tarmac and despite having to unload the luggages in the rain and ferry them to the terminal, the time taken for baggage claim was less than my walk from the aircraft to the conveyor belt.



My first experience on board Firefly. They serve drinks and muffins on board. That was a surprise to me. I thought we have to pay for it just like what I had to do in the other low budget airline. It was a different experience. Although the cabin crew was not a pretty lot to shout about, they were soft spoken and friendly.

What can one say as he steps into the Sky Park at Subang. I thought I was in another KLIA. Wished I could explore the shops further and indulge in retail therapy but, hallo... today is only Monday and can't even think of any therapy at this mo.



Other than the Firefly experience, I must mention this. Yes, yes... Kak Ezza... jangan tak caya! Saya dah jumpa Mak Lang. I text Mak Lang about noon and told her that I was in her territory, Kertih. Despite her under the weather condition, she took all efforts to meet me and Z, my office colleague at the Kertih airport. She was with another friend whom I later found out is my blog silent reader (alamak, lupa nama dia!) Mak Lang is a gusto. Honestly, tak sangka Mak Lang is not like how I imagined. I have communicated with her before through sms and email but meeting eye to eye with her was one splendid feeling. Mak Lang bawa buah tangan lagi. The choc cake which she made which was out of this world; choccy and crispy, and some keropok. Most importantly, this US educated electrical engineer is very down to earth, easy going and tersangat lah lepak. We also discovered it was such a small world because there are some of my friends yang Mak Lang pun kenal, macam FB pulak, "mutual freinds"!



To Mak Lang, thank you for making my day yang exhaustion nya dah to the brim. Nasib baik I chose to naik Firefly hari ni, kalau tak, tak boleh jumpa the Mak Lang yang gifted sangat sangat tu. By the way Mak Lang, if you insist to quit your job, I would think you will make a very good entrepreneur, especially in the line of RE or baking choc cake.

Papadom The Movie & Article - The Irreplaceable Void

I watched Papadom last week and coincidently on the next day I received the following article from a friend through the email. It touched my heart, both the movie and the article. Although they are not exactly the same, but the line of story is pretty similar; what will happen when God loves Mummy more and take her away.

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid, because that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice left overs, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child. With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket! Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation :

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore left over rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you because I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad... "

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, "I am sorry, Dad." But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. Because he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter,and it's Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Dad" and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year. His answer, amidst his sobbing, was, "The letters were for Mummy." My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him:

"But why did you post so many letters, at one time?"

My son's reply was, " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....I told my son,

"Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy."

My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash. And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy, I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.

Mummy, every day I see Dad missing you and whenever he thinks of you, he is so sad and often hides and cries in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear? After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing because I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


Have a good week ahead and do treasure your loved ones.

Cry In Sleep

I woke up, startled and crying. I was sobbing and sobbing non stop as if something sad or bad have happened. It was such an intense cry. I just could not stop sobbing. It took me a while to pull myself together. As I sat on the bed, I saw the pillow wet with my tears.

“Shah, look,” whilst waking beloved husband up, “See, I was crying! Maybe I had a bad dream. But I don’t know what it was. Tried recalling but I just can’t remember!”

“ No lah! Nothing happened. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep” beloved husband muttered pacifying and hugging me back to sleep.

Maybe I was dreaming, but what could it be ye? I am not stressed. I am neither sad nor disappointed. It must have been a long dream and a long cry because the pillow was really soaked!

I looked at the clock, it was 4.30 am.




When I woke up in the morning, I still felt sad, but more curious as to why I was crying.

When I tried to find the explanation in Q&A sites in the internet, the only close explanation which I got was this.

Answer 1 :

I think it happens when they are really sad. It probably only happens to people when there is a lot of sad stuff going on in their life. Maybe it's also because they have bad dreams which makes them sad and causes them to cry whether in their sleep or right when they wake up.

Well, that is natural, isn’t it? Maybe I am in the state of self denial that is I am sad over something but I just don’t want to admit it. Eh… tak lah. Biasa biasa je…

Answer 2 :

The human mind is always at work, and you dream at ever second throughout the night, though a large portion of your dreams instantly disappears. The dreams you do remember are about 10% clear when you first wake up and 10 minutes later are almost entirely gone. What remains can be very powerful and influential in your actions in life. Point is, they probably dreamt about something depressing, and forgot it when they woke up.

If my mind was working then, what could I be thinking eh? Apasal tak ingat... because it is powerful and influential lah, I keep thinking about it!

Arrrggghhh... all these are not going to help. Cry in sleep ke, dream which obviously I can’t recall ke, I think I am happy with the current state of affairs. Kerja memang lah bertimbun timbun mounting, but I can’t be crying or dreaming over them unnecessarily.

Maybe, I need to continue to jog or briskwalk soon (it halted because of puasa 6 and open houses) so that my mind can stop working at night.

Now, where are my jogging shoes?!

Dilemma or Just Bad?

I think I am such a good girl. Because I am such a good girl lah, people take advantage over me. Huh!

Yesterday, we had an office raya open house. The bosses were there of course, besides us the mere mortals. The gathering was not solely for the purpose of raya celebration, it was also some other things akin to a communication session on the mid year performance.

Yours truly was entrusted to present her group's progress updates. It was no big thing, the challenge was to attract the interest of the audience on an admittedly dry subject. I got one of the lawyers from the Y gen to do the interactive shows and she did an excellent job.

After my presentation and the other rights and rituals of a typical function, I saw one of the bosses walking towards me. From far, I could see him smiling from ear to ear. It is very rare that this particular boss would approach me. Most times it would be him summoning me. In fact my initial thots were he was not approaching me, I je yang perasan. Even if he was going to approach me, in all likelihood, it was to congratulate me on the presentation.

To my utter shock, it was nothing of that kind.

"Yati, I would like to ask you something. As a matter of fact H wanted me to ask you."

H was one of the bosses in the ballroom too.

Sounds pelik right? All sorts of imagination came running and flashing in my mind, like "oh oh, am I in a lot of trouble here?"

And the shocking question popped.

"Is it true that M has a second wife?" he asked!

To clarify, M is also another boss whom I currently work closely with. M didn't attend the raya do.

To put things in perspective too, most of my friends know that M has two wives. He married a second one a couple of years back. Tak tahu kenapa, offlate ni there were many parties who seemed to be interested to find out about this. Nonetheless, I guess it was a public info.

But how do I react to this question?

I was dumbfounded, nak cakap apa ni?

This is the bosses asking ok. Should I lie, or tell the truth? I am the worst actor when it comes to lying.

So I neither said yes nor no. In the alternative, my answer was an explanation.

"Well, he married the second one some years back, even before I worked with him."

Then he replied, " I just need to be sensitive to this, who knows I may bump into her."

After I let the cat out of the bag, I felt bad. I felt that I have violated M. Chissss!

Benci, benci benci tau bosses yang busy body macam ni.

I got to know about M's second marriage by default. Someone blurted to me thinking that I have already known about it. I didn't launch a search team to hunt for the info, unlike this scenario here.

It didn't stop at that!

Whilst I was helping myself at the buffet line for the rojak afterwards, another boss retorted,
"Did you also arrange his meetings with her?"

Bl**d**el*! Toot toot!

I know I am the company secretary and one of my KRAs is for to ensure the bosses have smooth and uninterrupted (board) meetings. But this one is just below the belt.

I just smirked at him, "Obviously that is not my KPI!" and left.

Huh! Tak pasal pasal je, I jadi stress! Naturally I felt sorry for M. What if he knows that it was me??? Albeit it could be a public info to some. Now I feel bad. Bad, bad girl. Hence I have to retract my very initial statement in the first paragraph up there! : (