Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mom Of The Year Award

Eh eh really can't believe it when Naz posted in my comment box that I am to pick a blog award from her. I am so very honoured. Betul tak percaya and still bewildered as to why of all the people Naz picked me! I am just the simple and plain Jane. Maybe orang nampak apa yang kita tak nampak kan? I am not like Naz, no where compared to her lah, a very far cry. Living in Norway, away from home and missing family in Malaysia and tending to her lovely husband and children.

But there is no such thing as a free meal. In order to achieve that award, seperti her request, the award comes with a set of rules which are:

1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom). Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. Remember you are a good mom!

2. List 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be. Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you.

My humble and honest replies are :-

1. One Thing I Feel Awful About

Feeding my children with the food which they loathe example vegie, telur ayam kampung and cod liver oil.

2. 7 Moms - Kids Love Things

Firstly - I love how responsible the 5 Aces are. They may need that push once in a while but when I unequivocally want them to do things which are beneficial and advantage to them, they will execute it.

Secondly - I love how they behave in public. They are indeed politely and properly behaved as soon as they step out of the house or when visitors stepped into the house. So when they bergaduh in the house, screaming to each other and merajuk, I will not believe that they are the same bunch of my Aces who are so bersopan santun. Terharu because that must have come from the DNA, emak dia lah especially tu. Father dia 20 % je.

Thirdly - I love the teamwork of the 5 Aces, be it at the house clearing the mess, standing up for each other when something broke, eating others' portion for unfinished meal, buying groceries at the supermarket to help Mama or Baba and keeping secrets between them. If they play football, if ada 5 aside, bet the Malaysian team can kalah! They won because of the team work.

Fourthly - We love going to Baskins Robins and borong the ice cream every 31st of the relevant month. Yummy. Alah, February ni 28 days je.

Fifthly - We love vacation and most times vacation is by the sea. If possible we want to live in a house by the sea so that it will be vacation 24-7.

Sixthly - My kids love to follow me to work outstation. Whilst I stress myself at work, I de-stress when I know that they are enjoying the hotel facilities. They love it always and have been asking for more. Too bad at times it does not clash with school hols. Some of the best places we have gone together in my outstation official trips are Tg Jara Resort, Awana Kijal, Hyatt Kuantan and Avillion PD. Best kan?

Seventhly - My kids love me when it is pay day. Need I elaborate more.... hehehe.

3. Fantastic 5 Other Supermoms

Kay - Surely because she is not my sister.... It is more than that. Despite some misunderstandings (that is natural in kid-mom relationship) with Faris, Farah and Nissa, she perseveres to be a wonderful mom.

MTT - I love how you treat Alya and Haris. You are such an open minded mom. You practised open communication with them which is a very good trait in relationships. You have improved so much in your cooking and indirectly you have learnt how to bond further with them (and hubby) with you air tangan. Nurturing!

Ms Hart - The celebrity mom. No other reason. Tak delah. She strives to the best, max habis untuk anak anak dia yang exuberant tu. She just wants to perfect them.

Yatidell - Through thick and thin, you will not give up ever on your children. They are your super angels, I know. Be it in Malaysia, in Sudan or soon in Jeddah. You are there to make sure they possess the intrinsic and extrinsic values.

Naz - Ini bukan cheating tapi you are the champion! I love your relationship with your children. Like I said I ni jauh panggang dari api from you. If I live in another life, I would love to be your daughter. Boleh tak?
To the other supermoms out there you all too are the BEST. Keep it up and take it easy on the beautiful chilidren. Leave a legacy behind.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

17 Years

We were married on this day 17 years ago. It was the familiar doa which was recited at the majlis khenduri kahwin. Here goes...

Satukan lah hati kedua mempelai ini
Seperti engkau satukan hati Adam dan Hawa
Yusuf dan Zulaikha
Dan seperti engkau satukan hati
Muhammad dan Siti Khadijah
Semoga Allah memberkati
Kamu berdua kebaikan
Dan keberkatan di dunia
Dan di akhirat

*masa tu tak de digital camera and scanning from glued album is one big challenge

Uwan pesan, don't smile unnecessarily on the dais. Muka macam baru lepas bergaduh je. But beloved hubby was smiling away. He must be thinking "I finally got married to my awek, yay!" But he didn't realise that it was a beginning to A Whole New World. Macam lagu from the movie Aladdin tu lah. Come let's sing (tak sempat nak upload the song, and tak pandai lagi).

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

10 years later we are blessed with 5 beautiful children. Our 5 Aces.
Hope the love will continue to be deeply entrenched forever and ever.

Happy Anniversary to my beloved hubby and me.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sweetness in Langkawi

Oh what a surprise! Two of my srikandi friends turned up at the hotel and met me yesterday. It was very sweet of them to make all efforts to accommodate to the window which I had free time. That was between 6.30 pm to 8.00 pm. I wished they didn't have to go and I also wished I didn't have to attend the dinner with the VVIPs. But work takes priority babe!

Thanks very much OG and Iza for making the time.

OG is working with Tourism Ministry in Kuah whilst Iza operates 7 spas. I call her Iza Qistina. Asked her a lot about the difference between her spa and spaQ. In Langkawi she has hers in Mutiara Burau Bay. Tomorrow she is going to Pulau Perhentian to check on her spa there. I have indicated to her that whenever she is in Royal Bintang formerly Royal Adelphi in Seremban, she must inform me so that I can pamper myself there when I go back to Mak's house with great discounts by the hostess. Quite an enterprising lady.

Today is serious work. I realized that in this program I am the most junior staff amongst the participants, not to mention the top notches. Good luck to me, take that as a challenge and valuable opportunity and experience. Also let's hope I don't make a clown of myself. Watch carefully what I have to say, discuss intelligently. Huh, getting the jitters already.

Iza Qistina, OG and moi

Thanks ladies for making my day

Friday, February 20, 2009

Near Andaman Sea

It has been a very busy 2-weeks. The bee will be even busier the next coming days and weeks.

At the moment, I am enjoying the jungle next to my room. At times monkeys came peeking at me. Yay! I am in Langkawi and am staying at one of the most expensive hotels. Wow! During the season of frugal spending, it just seems inappropriate to commit this. However guilt aside, the retreat has been mellowed down from a place 20 hours away from KL to 50 minutes away from KL. Not too bad lah.

Make some noise and the monkeys will say Hi!

Being in company of the Tan Sri's and Datos/Datuks, I really feel awkward. I think I am the only one who does not possess a Merc amongst the community here. The VVIPs were chauffer driven in the rented saloon cars from the airport to hotel whilst I had to take the Avanza with some GMs who did not bring their spouse here and the organiser.

The program is til Sunday evening. It is heavy stuff program from tonite til tomorrow nite. Sunday is meant for golf whilst the non golfers shop till you drop. Pity I can't do any damage this time cos I am taking the morning flight in order to be able to catch a wedding in Alor Gajah. There goes the Tefal, Correlle and silk materials, sigh!

I will be mostly working at this table when I am in the room. Office work bring to Langkawi.


My bedroom, so huge can fit all 5 Aces in a bed.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

V Stands For Vayabumi

Valentine and Dayabumi. Hmmmmm... is there a connection? There is, at least for me.

I had my first ever Valentine's Day dinner at the Stove Dayabumi. That was in 1986. I was in first year university then. The Stove was then one of the happening places in KL. That evening Sue, Ina, Nim and myself dressed up to nines to have the Valentine's dinner together at the Stove. It was all girls' affair. There were good music and good company. Each one of us was given a rose each by the Stove management. What could be more memorable than that. The hit topic during dinner was boyfriends. Our "sweethearts" were all (except for Nim who claimed to be single then) studying overseas. The way we talked about them were as if they would eventually be our soul mates. Recalling the event, I realised only Sue got married to the boyfriend she much talked about during that Valentine's dinner.

In varsity, I will wake up in the morning of Valentine's Day and tell my friends that the guy whom I first saw that day will be my Valentine. 2 years in a row was the pak cik gardener, the following year was the dhoby man and the fourth year was my classmate, now Dr Iq***. Hahaha... this Dr don't even realised that I was his classmate! I remember I was the first one who went to the canteen that day, and there he was in his Pakistani outfit. Waaaaa... that was enough to make my day upside down.

Enough said, let's live with love and harmony. Why do we celebrate love on 14th February specially? Why not all the time? Love is for us to show, it is like the food that we eat everyday. And it is love that makes our life cherished.

Happy V-Day everyone!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Magical Powers of D'oa

[Dear Readers,
Some parts of this entry were posted only for a limited time.
Thank you. ]

After giving up to all efforts other than submitting myself to my Creator, suatu hari, hati tu terdetik nak attend one talk by Dr Fatma al Zahra. Dr Fatma gives religious talks to the Muslimah at my office every forthnight during lunch time. I have been wanting to attend her talks prior to that but it was always that excuse that I was busy with work, outstation or could not decline a lunch appointment. However on that particular day however, I found myself free, tak ada apa nak buat. The Creator's punya kerja kan, how He makes it easy for you to do something good.

During the ceramah, Dr Fatma lectured about men-duakan the Creator. We cannot believe in bomoh, tangkal, mandi bunga, limau kasturi, main jin, minta gambar, tilik nasib, etc etc, she said. If we do that one can become syirik.

Ending her ceramah that day Dr Fatma gave a few ayat al Quran untuk diamalkan. She said she has shared the ayat to many listeners. Those yang ada problem with husband and children especially. They practised the ayat and God willing they approached her again and informed her how effective it was. It will not change the situation like a lightning, maybe not days, not weeks or months, but God willing, with His powers, you never know. What is important is to believe in it.

What you need to do is to read some Quranic verses and hembuskan dalam air. Give to your beloved ones eg children or husband to drink the water. Of course it took a lot of effort to do all that and blow it into the bottles of water. It is just like air yaasin yang kita minum. Jangan boil air tu cos the khasiat ayat Quran will diminish. You can add it to hot water like doing milo or coffee, or add to juice/cordial or drink it just like that.

It could work for me, it may not worked for Hanis. At the end of the day, we must keep our heads high and tell ourselves that we have tried our best to make it work and what turns out to be after that we pray that it is the best for us.

For those of you who wants to amalkan the ayat:

Start with solat hajat 2 rakaat (encouraged to do it after Isyak on Thursday nights/malam Jumaat)

Then read the following ayat, between one another to blow(hembus) to the water
1) Ayat 10 surah Al Kahfi
2) Al Fatihah
3) Ayat 1-5 surah Al Baqarah
4) Ayat Kursi
5) Amanarrasool ayat 285 Al Baqarah and repeat waqalusami'nawata'na 3x
6) Ayat 10 Al-Kahfi 3x
7) Ayat 13 Al-Kahfi 3x
8) Ayat 14 Al-Kahfi only warabatna 'alaqulubihim 3x
9) Ayat 17 Al-Kahfi only mayyahdillahufahuwalmuhtad 3x
10) Ayat 24 Al Kahfi read it 3x, 7x or 10x depending on you
11) Ayat 28 Al-Kahfi read from walatuti'man til end of ayat 3x
12) Ayat Alam Nashrah
13) The 3 Surah Quls
End with whatever doa which you wish for your husband or children.

For the husband to sayang selalu pada kita, it is also good to amalkan Surah Yusuf Ayat 4 from Inniraaitu...til end of Ayat

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Life Has To Go On

I was pretty much disturbed by the phone call which I received a couple of days ago. I was clad in my telekong, about to pray Maghrib when my hand phone rang.

"Hmmm... siapa pulak yang call waktu Maghrib ni?" I uttered in my heart. "Let it rang, the person will call again if it is urgent." The ringing tone stopped. A few seconds later, my office hand phone rang. Oh, oh... this must be urgent, I looked at the call identification and saw her name. I answered.

" Hi Yati... can we talk?" Hanis' (bukan nama sebenar) voice was desperately wanting to talk to me at the end of the line.

"Hanis, I nak solat Maghrib. Can I call you back lepas solat?"

"Oh sorry, OK lah. Please call me back ye."

I know Hanis about 9 years back. I was introduced to her by beloved husband who knows Hanis' husband, Talib (juga bukan nama sebenar). Hanis has 6 beautiful children. Hanis loves and dotes them very much. Everytime we met, she will always have wonderful stories about the children. We were not really that close. I tried very much to keep it cordial with Hanis. Talib is one of the bosses at beloved hubby's office. Beloved hubby has so much respect over Talib. Talib is like a mentor to him. Sometimes I think beloved hubby felt that he owed Talib a lot as Talib actually was contributory and influential to make his anak didik moved up the corporate ladder and became one of the most highly dependable managers.

To the contrary, I never like Talib. I think there was something about him which I cannot trust. Maybe it was just a hunch but I do believe in hunches, especially when it is a strong one. I also think that God has given me this gift that when I see someone that I don't like, he is indeed the villain. In most cases it is true.

Because I always make it cordial with Hanis, we only met each other during beloved husband's company functions. She is always a sweet lady. She plays her dutiful role admirably. She mingles attentively with wives of who's who in the company, speaks the right tone and subject. She is that graceful wife that a husband can always be proud of especially when the husband is someone "big" in the company.

About 5 years ago, I also received a similar desperate call from Hanis. That was the start of the series of calls which had made us close. (OK, I will start with my Manglish as I think it would give more ummphh to the story).

Cerita dia macam ni. Hanis found out that Talib may be seeing somebody. Infact Hanis suspected that our friend, ehem ehem beloved husband knew about it sebab ada orang nampak beloved husband in that gang. I pun hangat lah bila mendengar gossip ni. Apasal cik Abang sebelah sini tak beritahu. And adakah cik Abang kita pun sama bercompany, bercompromy and bersekongkol with Talib and "these girls"? After Hanis dah bercerita panjang lebar tentang cerita En Talib kita, apa lagi I pun dah telefon cik Abang yang sebelah sini. Maka perang besar telah berlaku. Tak payah lah I certa panjang panjang cos that was 5 years ago punya cerita. Those who know me tahulah cerita yang baik and tak berapa sedap didengar selepas tu.

After that 5 years ago punya cerita, I was banned from talking to Hanis. Beloved hubby was very allergic to her. If there was any function which four of us attended, he will not say a word to Hanis. Despite this embargo, Hanis still called me to cry her heart out. I was a shoulder to cry one, definitely. Things were turning to a bad patch for both Talib and Hanis. Talib continues to be unfaithful to Hanis. In fact I have seen photos of Talib together with the girlfriend clubbing, which was emailed to me. If it had broken my heart, I cannot imagine how grief-stricken Hanis had been. To add salt to injury, the girl friend was seen accompanying Talib in company functions. How low can that be kan?

Ok lah tak payah cerita banyak banyak sangat about ni. Yang dah sudah tu sudah lah. I know that Hanis memang have tried very hard to rescue their marriage. She is such a strong lady. Sometimes, I advised her that there is no point of staying when Talib buta buta tak bertanggung jawab sebagai suami. Her excuse has always been, kesian kat budak budak. That has always been the wives' excuse when they come to this crossroad. And Hanis stayed on until today.

Balik cerita phone call waktu Maghrib tu...

I returned Hanis' call after solat. The reason Hanis sounded desperate to talk to me was to ask my opinion about the settlement agreement. Finally Talib and Hanis have decided to go through one of the most painful things on earth i.e. divorce. Hanis is filing mutaah. Not sure about Talib, but it will be painful, sorrowful, what have you... for Hanis. Yelah they have been married for slightly more than 20 years already.

According to Hanis, they agree to sell their semiD house in one of the porschy areas in KL within the next 6 months. The proceeds will be divided 50:50. The house is considered as harta sepencarian, hence they have to distribute it by selling the house and share the proceeds. She has asked for the mutaah amount which I think is far too low. I have asked her to double the sum.

The "best" thing is she agree to halalkan the nafkah tertunggak. According to Hanis, she had supported Talib the first few years of their marriage. Later Talib secured a good job and became financially independant. Things were rosy for the couple, ada lah hiccup sini sana, quite normal for a marriage. When Talib became someone very important (obviously with Hanis dutiful wifely support all the way), Hanis stopped working. It took only a couple of the ensuing months that Talib supported them wholly. Unfortunately for Hanis, gradually things turned to the worst. Ku sangka panas sampai ke petang rupanya hujan panas dan guruh di tengahari. Nah, now ada pulak additional mouth to feed and pamper, subsequently the monies came in intermittently. To that end, Hanis had to start looking for a job again. Poor thing.

On this point, I asked Hanis to remember correctly. Nafkah towards wife is not like "OK, this is RM so much, I give you nafkah for this month," My view on this, like I told Hanis is that surely Talib has given some money to Hanis for the household expenses during their entire marriage. If the sum is more than sufficent in the eyes of Hanis, then the balance after spending the household expenses can be considered as nafkah which Talib gave to Hanis. Of course this must also take into account the money which Hanis also wish to contribute to the household. Takkan nak mengharap husband je yang belanja everything in view that the wife is also working.

The fact that Hanis nak halalkan nafkah tertunggak tu dah buat I marah. Hanis admitted that there would be roughly RM xx of nafkah tertunngak if she calculated based on my opinion. Tapi tak pelah, to her halalkan je lah. OMG, the fact that the husband has been unfaithful to her, she can make it very easy. Banyak lah I tashkil Hanis after that. I told her that she can make it difficult for him. Senang senang je nak lari dari tanggung jawab. Dah lupa his supposedly-dulu- declared soul mate. Finally she relented. She agreed as a first draft, to put RMxxx sum of money as nafkah tertunggak. However she did say that if susah sangat nak settle, she may forfeit it.

Another point she did not want to incorporate in the settlement agreement was the nafkah to the 6 kids. She said she did not think that it would be a bone of contention later, because Talib has been contributing, though not diligently. I came hard on her again on this. Make sure you include that in, dah lah tak bayar diligently. Besok Talib dah re-marry, terus buat buat lupa nak bayar. Especially bila yang si dia tu dah menggesel gesel nak extra pocket money. Huh!

The conversation lasted for more than an hour. There were the sounds of frustration and cries mostly. My final question to her was " Can it be rescued anymore? Any tiny bit?"

She replied without hesitation " I wish it could but I have tried very hard. I dah penat."

Nasib kaum Hawa....

I know it is distressingly anguish. But life has just to go on.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Innocent Tormenting Statement

Minus the one day which I went back to work after the CNY break, I have been on leave for nine days. It was a total bliss. Although I was in pain for four days, the fact that I was resting at home was good enough.

5 Aces loved it too. Wow! Mama is at home full time. Despite during the suffering days, I was in the bedroom most of the time, the kids enjoyed their mum's presence. As for me, I was either sleeping or catching up with work which office had e-mailed me besides having to complete 8 people's 360 degrees assessment in the office web. The one who was rejoicing most amongst all was my 5th one, Alim. Sikit sikit Mama. Nak makan, nak mandi, nak Milo, semua nya Mama.

Last night whilst I was doing some office work on my laptop, Alim popped me this question.

"Mama, kenapa Mama asyik busy buat kerja office aje kat rumah?"

If it takes a seven year old to notice that, I am in big trouble if I did not comprehend it.

I am not sure whether the question was posed because he was trying his luck requesting me to stop hogging the computer so that he can play his Habbo or it was sincerely from his heart. I distinctly feel it was the latter.

This morning Alim was feeling a bit feverish. Nonetheless he still attended school. Usually Pak Long's school van will pick him up to send him to sekolah kebangsaan in the afternoon. Today I insisted to send him so that he could have sufficient time to eat lunch and rest. On the way sending him to school, he made this innocent statement, "Kalau Mama hantar Alim tiap tiap hari gi school macam hari ni tak boleh ke?

I replied "Alim cakap dengan Baba, give Mama baanyaaaak duit, baru lah Mama tak payah kerja and hantar Alim pergi school tiap tiap hari."

Subsequently, we passed by Giant BK. He looked at Giant and made another credulous remark.

"Kalau Mama dah tak kerja, tak payah lah Mama susah susah pergi Giant malam malam after office. Bila bila Mama nak pergi waktu siang, Mama boleh pergi kan?"

Touching nya... Di sebalik yang tersirat dan tersurat, itu BM teacher ajar dulu.

Alim is such a darling. I hugged him later and wished that the all Mighty leads us to the right path and best direction ahead. Such statements really torment me.