Saturday, July 31, 2010

Through Sickness We Recognize Health

"I believe it is nothing serious but I would still refer you to a specialist. You see for most people who have attained the age of 40 and above, they would sag. In your case they don't. And with the dense lesion which we discovered, it does seem abnormal and thus better to do the ultrasound."

That was the conversation I had with the Primary Care Physician after my annual medical check up, something which I don't really fancy to undergo. I quipped with Nora who was caring enough to accompany me to the medical centre and one hilarious thing we joked about was, Wahhhh... they have not sagged!

If the reason why I didn't know about it earlier is because I have not been diligent in doing my medical examination, I am guilty as charged. I missed the last year's, and perhaps the year before that too, due to, (I know it is such a lame reason) busy.

A week later, I got an appointment with the breast surgeon. Did the ultrasound and as a matter of fact he referred me to do an ultrasound at the stomach area too.

Yup, they found a lump on the left breast but because it was too small as in a little less than 8 mm, the breast surgeon felt that the biopsy can wait. In the meantime, let's just monitor, he said, until October. An October appointment has already been fixed with him.

That is just a part of the story.

When they did the scan on the stomach area, they found sandy sediments in my gall bladder. I knew about the condition of the gall bladder when I last did my medical check up in 2008. The doctor who had attended to me in 2008, was just cool about it. If it is not giving you any trouble just leave it, that was his advice. On the contrary, the breast surgeon had recommended me to remove the gall bladder. His reason was, it is these sands which are making me feel "kembung & angin" at times and if any of the pieces were to "drop off (out?)" from the system, I could even suffer something akin to yellow fever.

I have reservation after hearing that. Well, he is a breast surgeon after all and not a specialist on gall bladder, whatever one calls it. So his opinion may be relatively incorrect to the specialist in this field.

One fine day, I met one of my buddies, Dr Nor, the Occupational Health doctor at the office, Dr Nor had a different view. First on the dense, she thought that it is just hardened calcium, and if I feel anxious about it she has recommended me to see her friend, another breast surgeon. Otherwise I can wait till Oct. As for the sand in the gall bladder, to her it is pretty normal and to remove them may even cause more problem than now. Alas my observation, consulting the problem with your friend and the well-paid consultant did make a huge different. Indeed I was unduly worried before but they seemed to have vanished gradually after I met Dr Nor.

Another related story to this is, when both my mother and MIL knew about this, they were perturbed, for obvious reasons.

I told my mother that there is nothing to be alarmed. We just have to wait until Oct. My late father removed his gall bladder for something similar and we knew what was the repercussion post surgery. Hence to take up that option would be the last resort. My brother doctor too shared the same views.

A mother's love is boundless. Emak had supplied me some blessed water and "gula batu" to be eaten with watermelon.

As for my MIL, I must say she was very much taken aback with the bad news. I appreciated her seeing a couple of ustazs to bless for me and had also arranged for me to see one of them. Although I think there is no cause of concern, at least not yet, I just have to oblige being a dutiful daughter-in-law. I don't want to be accused of taking things lightly. Moreover, I know it is appeasing for her to see me making that extra effort to heal, particularly so when I am currently the sole breadwinner and her grandchildren in this house (plus her son) is 100% being supported by yours truly.

Two months have passed since I knew about my condition. Alhamdulillah I feel no different from pre medical checkup (I don't know whether that is good or bad). I have been industriously taking healthy food, supplements and herbs, from lots of watermelons to virgin olive oil to lemon to dandelion. Effort plus prayers could work miraculously. Above all I truly believe in the power of doa.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Tahlil For Dalilah

Some of the makcik bloggers triggered an excellent thought to do a tahlil for arwah Dalilah. It was the most that we could do for her and today the tahlil was performed. Many thanks to the host Kay and the rest who chipped in with lotsa food (and fun).

From near as Shah Alam and as far as Ipoh and Sg Petani, the makcik bloggers gathered for the bacaan Yaasin and tahlil. The ustazah was gracious enough to lead the selawat and read a little tazkirah as reminder to the Ramadhan which is soon approaching.

All of us remembered arwah Dalilah in a beautiful way. We are sad that she is gone and will be missed, nonetheless her memories and fighting spirit lingers on.

The tahlil

The food

The makan-makan & gelak ketawa

Thanks again to all that has made arwah Dalilah smile.

Kay, Kak Ezza, Kak Puteri, Pi Bani, Zendra, Eja, Lyana, Shana, Liya, Kak Nong and amazing people who shared the wonderful afternoon.

Not forgetting Ummi who made the beautiful Yaasin packets and Kitchen Guardian whose chocolate cake with strawberry topping was nowhere to be seen after the event. Tidak saya lupa to the one and only, Naz who is back enjoying the rain in Malayisa despite the summer in Norway but missed the event due to migraine :) Last but not least Mamasita whom we know that would love to be there too.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Dari Allah Kita Datang, Kepada Allah Kita Kembali

Hajat hati untuk melawat Dalilah di HKL pagi ini tidak kesampaian. Sebelum saya memulakan Town Hall di pejabat kami di Shah Alam pagi tadi, telefon saya berdering-dering. Satu panggilan daripada kak Ezza dan disusuli pula daripada Kay.

"TM, Dalilah dah tak ada," kata Kak Ezza. Sayu bunyinya. Walaupun berita sedih itu mungkin telah diduga, terasa jantung ini seolah-olah berhenti berdenyut seketika.

Teringat kata-kata arwah semasa Eja, Kak Ezza, Yani, Kay dan saya melawat arwah dua minggu sebelum arwah berangkat mengerjakan umrah pada akhir bulan Jun lalu. [read : An Evening in Banting ]

"Kalau memang dah ajal, kita akan pergi. I redha kak Yatt. I have prepared myself as well as my husband if I am gone. Suami pun dah redha. Yang sedih nya bila saya ingatkan anak anak. Itu yang saya tak boleh tahan."

Ibu mana yang tidak sedih meninggalkan anak-anak nya yang kecil dan masih dahagakan kasih sayang nya.

Suami mana yang tidak sayu melihat isteri tercinta pergi di depan matanya.

Emak mana yang tidak hiba melihat dia mengebumikan anak nya dahulu sebelum dia kembali.

Dan itulah suasana di Kg Labohan Dagang pada petang tadi. Cuaca yang mendung di sisipi dengan hujan gerimis turut merasakan kesedihan kepulangannya seorang insan yang menghidap sakit kanser, kembali kepada yang Esa, insan yang telah menyentuh perasaan berbagai manusia melalui tulisannya di

Sebelum tahlil tadi, ustaz yang memberi sedikit ceramah mengingatkan hadirin. Kata ustaz apabila datangnya sakit kepada kita, ia menunjukkan bahawa mati itu telah hampir. Sekiranya kita tidak sedar juga, dan akhirnya malaikat maut datang mengambil nyawa, nescaya telah terlambat untuk meminta ampun.

Saya pasti Dalilah telah menyiapkan dirinya. Arwah beruntung kerana telah dikejutkan Allah dengan sakitnya. Arwah telah melengkapi dirinya, tidak lekang mulutnya dengar zikr dan tahmid untuk mengurangkan kesakitan dan penderitaan yang ditanggung. Itulah bahagian Dalilah. Tetapi bagaimana dengan kita? Adakah kita telah bersedia? Juga satu peringatan dan kesedaran untuk saya insan yang daif. Sesungguhnya mati itu akan datang, tidak sesaat awal dan tidak sesaat akhir ....

Sambil menulis blog ini, saya teringat sms terakhir yang dikirim Dalilah semasa di Tanah Suci berbunyi... "Apapun yang saya hadapi, adalah yang terbaik dari Allah dan saya redha serta pasrah dengan ketentuanNya. Thanx for the doa akak. It means a lot to me." Itulah Dalilah...

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas arwah Dalilah Tamrin dan ditempatkan di kalangan golongan orang-orang yang beriman. A'min. Salam takziah untuk keluarga tercinta arwah.